Questions at Thirty (Live at the Hilson Studio)

by Chase Tremaine

supported by

	/

Streaming + Download

Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

Purchasable with gift card

name your price

1.	I'm sorry, how do I know you? 02:05	lyrics	buy track
Memory is fleeting Or is it self-defeating? Conjuring up meaning In the scenes that I am stealing Took twenty years to get any good At matching faces to names So it might take another twenty more To match persons to a place I know we’re in Nashville But did I meet you in Dallas? It doesn’t make much sense But it’s my most common guess Grand Canyon? Gottingen? Zero bells are ringing So why do people have to remember me Why do people have to remember me? Memory is fleeting Or is it self-defeating? Conjuring up meaning In the scenes that I am stealing Memory is fleeting Or is it self-defeating? Conjuring up meaning In the scenes that I am stealing So how do I know you? Well, it’s probably Starbucks But are you a barista or a regular? And was it Nipper’s Corner Or one of the dozen stores that I would frequent before? Well, it’s probably Starbucks But are you a barista or a regular? And was it Nipper’s Corner Or one of the dozen stores that I would frequent before?
2.	How's married life? 02:14	lyrics	buy track
“How’s married life?” Bruce asked us But I just wanted to talk about him How the hospital was, how the treatment’s going And if he’s actively still feeling sick “What’s the biggest surprise you’ve learned so far?” He inquired with sincere curiosity As he's facing down the biggest challenge of his life I’m amazed that he still cares so much about me And while I look up to him as a master of life He looks up to me as I stand next to my wife And says, “Don’t be a fool like me, don’t take so long to see “That loving her is the greatest work That could ever be accomplished by your heart or your hands Your soul must never be deterred No music, dream, or job can claim a greater demand And train your heart to be content You’ll cripple yourself if you’re always aiming for more And at the end I’ll hope you spent Your life, above all other things, pursuing the Lord” “Do you see my wife?” Bruce asked “God has been good to me. Now look at your wife,” Bruce said “God has been good to you”
3.	Is this what they call young love? 03:26	lyrics	buy track
My very first girlfriend, she was meant to make Sarah jealous But she never knew it, and Sarah saw straight through it Still we carried forward, kept it up for four whole months I thought it could be real, but she said we were through As it turns out, she loved someone else too Is this what they call young love? Is this what they call young love? Is this what they call young love? Is this what they call? When I started college, I began to date a high schooler We worked at the tavern and pretended we had passion to burn We tried to write love songs, and we snuck around our parents' houses Got caught and were scolded, acted like we weren't old yet And later, I'd rewrite those songs so I didn't have to give her credit Is this what they call young love? Is this what they call young love? Is this what they call young love? Is this what they call? Does the word "young" refer to the people or to the love? Because if it's the love, then anyone can have the kind that's young Love's easy to lose when it's easy to find But the day-in-day-out, the hustle and grind Is what makes the young love turn to fine wine And we'll be old enough to drink it in time 'Cause I don't want to grow old and still have a young love But you cannot be young and have an old love Is this what they call young love? Is this what they call young love? Is this what they call young love? Is this what they call?
4.	Am I stuck? 03:42	lyrics	buy track
My number one irrational fear It captivates my mind And I believe that I'm there Is crawling through a tunnel Whether dirty or shrouded It shrinks in size too tight For me to continue down it And there's no way I can go Back up the way that I came I'm left down here to die of thirst Or drown in the rain Even now, describing it I tremble and shake It swallows me in dread So vast, I think I'm insane Am I stuck Am I stuck Am I stuck Am I stuck? There's a hole in our home Sometimes I find you down there Sitting in the mud Hints of blood in the air Red beneath your fingernails From scratching your hair Your fear is not the hole You're scared that no one would care Your shrinking tunnel Is the thought you could disappear That everyone you loved Would be better off without you here From deep within that hole The answer seems crystal clear With eyes too fogged from tears To see a hand drawing near "Am I stuck Am I stuck Am I stuck Am I stuck?" So I'll jump into that hole Because I know that you would crawl Into the tunnel to save me We all need saving So I'll jump into that hole Because I know that you would crawl Into the tunnel to save me We all need saving So I'll help you fight your fear Because I want and need you here We can cry and pray and shout Until you're ready to climb out So I'll help you fight your fear Because I want and need you here We can cry and pray and shout Until you're ready to climb out You're not stuck We're not stuck You're not stuck We're not stuck
5.	What do I like now? 03:16	lyrics	buy track
Funko Pops Line the top two shelves of my two bookcases Which have far fewer books on display these days So many were unread that I grew ashamed Anyway Most of them are Star Wars Pops Episode 8 to be exact But we've also got Fall Out Boy, Mega Man, and Mad Men But now they're running out of space The galaxy might be far away, but it's too small For whether they go by foot or flying lightspeed They'll only find one bedroom at the end of the hall Next to those Is my record player with a box of LPs That started with just a few Thrice albums But my mom thought it'd be nice to have a table for them So here I am With my own vinyl collection Bought more often than I listen 'Cause Spotify makes it way too easy Plus my apartment living room is a mess So I never even set my speakers up Surrounded by boxes that I need to unpack Which are filled with the books that I've never read But I'm holding onto the promise That Luke will not be the last Jedi Yeah, I'm holding onto the promise That Luke will not be the last Jedi Yet of all my toys and all my CDs Or the movie collection that stands by the screen My favorite thing most recently Is every morning when we wake up early Forgoing an extra hour of sleep We sit on the couch to pray and to read Holding each other and hot cups of coffee Reading aloud letters to Timothy Or the one Paul wrote to Colossae As we soak in the words, as we're trying to seek What these ancient scrolls first written in Greek Mean today for my job, for my soul when it's weak For my thoughts, for my heart, when I can't keep a streak Up of anything good, I fail on repeat But these mornings are here to keep reminding me That there's always more space at the Lord's mercy seat And I'm holding onto the promise That God will finish what he started Yeah, I'm holding onto the promise That God will finish what he started
6.	What am I like now? 02:55	lyrics	buy track
Organized I’m slowly becoming organized But it takes so much effort to organize my work That I’m too burnt out to organize my shirts (Or books or cups or mail) Healthier I’m rarely becoming healthier ‘Cause it takes too much effort to shop then cook then clean And when I grocery shop, I always sneak in sweets (M&M cookies) The ups and downs of growth Befuddling my senses The ups and downs of growing older Trajectory of hits and misses Empathy I think I’m developing empathy ‘Cause it is worth the effort to cry when you’re empty And to praise and not be jealous in your plenty Self-control I keep on re-learning self-control The never-ending effort to put the first things first And to maintain habits when life’s at its worst The ups and downs of growth Befuddling my senses The ups and downs of growing older The ups and downs of growth Befuddling my senses The ups and downs of growing older Trajectory of hits and misses I fail every time I try to write a book But I can rant for hours when I’m left off of the hook And I peaked at age 20 as for being a cook As for drawing, peaked at 7, look at what the years took I am gentle when I’m not angry And that’s not too often, thankfully I give sound advice when it’s needed But might act bitter if my counsel goes unheeded I’m still growing up and a year from now I hope to tell you of more ups than downs
7.	Will you hold my hand? 04:50	lyrics	buy track
One minute in, it’s fine, ‘cause we’re both tired, we’re both cold Two minutes in, the car’s warmed up, we’re headed for the road My blinker on, I tap my thumb, impatient for the turn Then we’re off, three minutes in, still haven’t said a word Minute four, head racing, should I ask what’s on your mind? I know you’ll answer, “Nothing,” and be right back to the quiet Five, but the answer’s never nothing Six, I wish this all were nothing Now seven minutes in, have we ever been this silent before? A marriage built on laughs and songs now crashing to the floor Watching while it falls, wondering, will it shatter, will it crack? Or just a chip, a blip on the radar, before it swings right back? Eight, our bodies are tired Nine, our souls are so tired Ten, I catch a glance, your eyes stare dead ahead, no flinch The car is moving miles but we haven’t moved an inch I look again, eleven, waiting for a sign of pain You turn to me, we crack half-smiles as I swerve out in the lane Twelve, quickly correcting, I make straight the path again Reach over, thirteen, open your palm and grasp your hand It’s warm as I remember, yet the warmth is also gone Continue down the highway, unsure if I should hold on Fourteen, another minute of silence Like we’re trying to set a record for something Fifteen, another minute of silence Am I over- or under-thinking something? Sixteen, another quick glance, another half smile Another mile, then I take back my hand Two minutes go by, I can tell you’re about to cry I shouldn’t have to wonder why Both hands on the wheel, focused on the drive But still, never would’ve guessed You and I could create such a long silence At that very moment You broke it with a whisper I couldn’t comprehend Twenty, and I asked if you could say it louder than before You said, “Do you not like holding my hands anymore?” You barely made out the consonants But I heard it loud and clear As I bore the weight and the consequence Of my actions that’d led us here It was my coldness that made you ask And I let the distance grow Instead of standing, taking up the task Of loving you wherever you go In the car or on the couch at home In the body or in the soul Wherever it is that you’re cold* To not let my shame take the wheel and drive us To a place where there’s no hope *Note: In the live taping, I mistakenly sang "wherever it is that you go" instead of "wherever it is that you're cold"
8.	When are you gonna have kids? 02:57	lyrics	buy track
When Paige and I set the date Two months from when we got engaged Some of our friends thought that we were pregnant When we released our first duet Titled “The Things We Can’t Plan” Mom called me up to ask if we were pregnant Then when we closed on our house And teased of big news to announce Both our families thought that we were pregnant And I’m not mad I can’t wait to be a dad We’re in no rush, but even so Every time the answer’s “no” We get a little sad For years, I’ve wanted a son named Jet But at this point, I hope we get Daughters to be friends with our nieces My brother’s such a great girl-dad And I think that I can be like that For now, I get to practice with my nieces And every month, we take the test It’s bittersweet when it’s not “yes” We’ll give our love and time to our nieces And we won’t let our hearts crumble to pieces No, I’m not mad I can’t wait to be a dad We’re in no rush, but even so Every time the answer’s “no” We get a little sad No, I’m not mad I can’t wait to be a dad We’re in no rush, but even so Every time the answer’s “no” We get a little sad Trusting in God’s timing, trusting in God’s timing, trusting in God’s timing Trusting in God’s timing, trusting in God’s timing, trusting Trusting in God’s timing, trusting in God’s timing, trusting in God’s timing Trusting in God’s timing, trusting in God’s timing, trusting
9.	How long have you worked there? 03:14	lyrics	buy track
Four years working as servers, while I went off to college And my brother and I swore to never work in an office Took one week with my degree for me to break that promise The salary and benefits were temporary solace (Too bad they let me go after I signed for an apartment) When people first find out I’m a producer for two podcasts They think it’s full-time while I’m putting the “free” in freelance And sometimes when they learn that I’ve professionally made two albums They’ll wonder if I’m big league when both albums made me bankrupt I’m working to live, trying not to live for my work And like Chandler Bing, no one can remember what I actually do But I’m proud of my job, I’m holding on to what it’s worth More than making ends meet, more than living for the weekend Next month marks five, five and a half years That’s more of my life than just about anything I’ve ever done Except simply to survive If we do some math, that’s nearly ten thousand hours I could’ve become an expert in any one thing in the world But I accept my path I’m working to live, trying not to live for my work And like Chandler Bing, no one can remember what I actually do But I’m proud of my job, I’m holding on to what it’s worth More than making ends meet, more than living for the weekend I’m working to live, trying not to live for my work And like Chandler Bing, no one can remember what I actually do But I’m proud of my job, I’m holding on to what it’s worth More than making ends meet, more than living for the weekend
10.	What's next? 03:15	lyrics	buy track
I’m moving into my first house Empty rooms of possibilities For making music, making family I’m moving to a small town I’m hoping it’ll ease my pace To quit living like everything is a race So I sit here, a few boxes in Surrounded by piles of books And a quarter-filled kitchen As I’m writing my tenth song today But I had to take days off from work To have time to create I’m moving into my first house Empty rooms of possibilities For making music, making family I’m moving to a small town I’m hoping it’ll ease my pace To quit living like everything is a race So I wonder if this quaint abode Will remain suitable if our numbers begin to grow And I daydream, if I write a hit song Will the comforts of home transform Into thorns that don’t belong? God, don’t let me outgrow Contentment in the home No matter how loud life becomes Live quietly in accord with everyone God, don’t let me outgrow Contentment in the home Grant us your joy and peace That we may be satisfied in these I’m moving into my first house Empty rooms of possibilities For making music, making family I’m moving to a small town I’m hoping it’ll ease my pace To quit living like everything is a race That I must win

about

I run the risk of being wildly hypocritical and confusing with the release of this album, Questions at Thirty.

Why confusing? Well, I'm currently rolling out my "third" "official" "studio" album, Accidental Days, which is due in early 2023 and from which I've recently released three songs. Questions at Thirty contains none of those songs and is, in a sense, unrelated to the release of Accidental Days.

Why hypocritical? For one, this album contains a handful of traits that I normally don't care for in the music I listen to -- traits that I might openly use to critique other albums, such as lyrics that are overly-detailed to the point of awkwardness. Secondly, I am 100% a music-first, lyrics-second type of listener, yet I'm releasing an album that is intended to be lyrics-first, music-second. Another reason is that I usually hate it when artists self-describe their music as "honest" or "heartbreaking" or "beautiful" or whatever else -- the types of subjective descriptions that are usually better left for listeners to discern for themselves.

Yet here I am, releasing Questions at Thirty, a stripped down set of ten brand new songs containing the most honest, self-aware, detailed, and autobiographical lyrics of my musical career thus far. The main two words I've been using to describe these songs (since writing them this past January) are "raw" and "personal." So it made sense to present these songs to you in the most raw and personal form possible: live performance. And they're basically "raw" in every sense possible: the songs remain unchanged and unedited from the day I wrote them, and the performances are unedited, unfixed, untuned, and undressed by any studio wizardry or musical padding besides me, my acoustic guitar, a microphone, and a touch of reverb.

The title of the album fittingly describes the assignment: these are questions that I found myself being asked by others or asking myself as I looked a major milestone straight in the eyes: turning 30 years old. I wrote these songs in a single day, the weekend before that big-deal birthday, reflecting back on things that had happened in the preceding weeks, months, and years, ranging from the lows of aging and memory loss and health issues to the highs of getting married, buying our first house, and hoping to have kids.

As 2022 barreled forward, those "high"s would turn on their heads. Within weeks of writing this album and moving into our new house, a series of unpredictable events ensued, including: a tree falling on our house, wrecking our back deck; one close family member receiving a cancer diagnosis; another close family member getting a divorce; and the loss of my wife's first pregnancy.

In some ways, these ten-month-old songs already feel hilariously outdated, with the amount of capital-L life that has happened over the course of 2022. And yet in other ways, these songs have only become more special to me in the time since writing them. And it's been important to me that, if I was ever going to show these songs to people, I wanted to do it before I turn 31, to properly memorialize the time period these songs were largely written about.

I cannot guarantee that these songs will be suitable for fans of Unfall or Development & Compromise; in fact, I'm unsure whether these songs are suited for anyone besides people who know me and are interested in knowing me better as a person. If these songs aren't for you, that's absolutely fine -- check back in when Accidental Days releases next year. But if you do choose to give the album a chance, I ask only one thing: that you pay attention to the lyrics. My guitar work is straightforward and my vocal performances do not measure up to my normal studio-album standards, but the lyrics are the beating heart of this album. These words are the reason I wanted to record this album and why I am still choosing to release this collection, despite some flaws and mistakes in my performances which bring me deep embarrassment. Being proud outweighs being embarrassed, and being honest outweighs being impressive. I hope you will find value in the things I have to say.

And like my other albums, Questions at Thirty is being offered for free on Bandcamp, because you giving me your time is far more valuable than you giving me your dollars.

credits

released November 18, 2022

Written on January 21, 2022 by Chase Tremaine (chasetremaine.com)
Performed on October 3 & 4, 2022 by Chase Tremaine
Engineered, mixed, and mastered by Sean Power at the Hilson Studio (www.thehilsonstudio.com)
Released independently in partnership with Post Emo Records (www.postemorecords.com)

license

about

Chase Tremaine Nashville, Tennessee

One-man-band emo rocker with a post-hardcore sense of instrumentation and an old-fashioned pop sense for melody and harmony. Originally from Dallas, based in Nashville.

Recommendations

contact / help

Contact Chase Tremaine

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Chase Tremaine recommends:

Shelterheart
by Benjamin Daniel

One of the best underground albums of 2021 and possibly my favorite lyrical album of the past few years. Highly recommended. Chase Tremaine
go to album
All The Nothing I Know
by Nick Webber

A jaw-dropping exploration of depression and doubt. One of my favorite releases of 2023. Chase Tremaine
go to album
海底より愛をこめて Kaitei
by cinema staff

My favorite album of the decade thus far. A-class Japanese rock. Chase Tremaine
go to album

If you like Chase Tremaine, you may also like:

Sunburst
by Kevin Dickerson

Introspective bedroom pop with a literary-narrative bent, touching the mundane horrors of everyday life. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 17, 2018
go to album
Parque México
by Kevin Dickerson

Spoken word storytelling spun into a delicate web of acoustic guitar, from the Bay Area. Bandcamp New & Notable Aug 30, 2017
go to album
Everyone's Okay
by Kevin Dickerson

Brainy but equally heartfelt, this experimental pop record uses specific situations to get to universal truths. Bandcamp New & Notable Jun 21, 2017
go to album